A button on a computer screen 'submit application' it represented so much. Inside that button was a lot of stuff. People stuff I'm talking about, friends who had invested time and resources, contributed ideas discussed this and that, told stories made things, wrote things, researched things, compiled things together and been enthusiastic.
'Submit' was a nervous moment as I kept saying to myself : should I re-read it just to make sure it was as good as I could make it. Could that be in phrased a better way, had I left out anything that was so glaringly obvious as to scupper the whole thing. Had I structured things clearly, was the budget detailed enough and had I got across that friends and acquaintances had contributed already to get it to this point.
I spoke with someone at the arts council over the phone about what the 5 pages of supporting material was best used for, basically the advise was its up to you! So I read the guidance notes yet again and what came across on those was nothing to dense. I went visual. Personally I hate documents of dense text and before I read anything I'm already looking to see if the paragraphs are long with small type. If the paragraphs are short and dispersed with bullet points and a few pictures with captions. Those are the documents I like. But nothing behind that button was like that. It was dense and every line was crucially filled with feelings, information, sentences describing methods and experience. Every word was agonisingly crucial and loaded. And in the end its not long before your not reading it anymore, your just looking at it with no understanding anymore.
That's when I pushed submit. It was a submission, no more I'm done.
Computer told me that they would check it to see if the figures added up if I had I missed out any questions. They would also look to see if I had left enough time for them to decide and the start of the project.
|I had made some hollow houses specially for a photo shoot in the dark|
I remembered a conversation with someone who said that they had trouble submiting their application as the word count was a little erratic. They were unable to submit as the word count was too high even though indicators said it was fine, the thought of having to rewrite paragraphs again taking out several words did not exite me.
But that never happened: A Good Omen?